I’ve had periods of monogamy during my twenties. It felt very restricting and unnatural to me. This was during a time In my life when I was desperately trying to conform to my then husband’s and family’s expectations of me. I was never able to live up to those standards for longer than a year.
I felt tremendous guilt when my previous husband (now my very awesome ex-husband ) was disappointed and hurt when he found out on several occasions that I’d been unfaithful, we eventually divorced amicably .
Although the divorce felt like a death In the family, It was the most liberating feeling I’d felt in years . At that point, I decided that marriage and monogamous relationships were not for me and was content with living my life on my terms, guilt free and shameless.
A couple of years later, I met and fell in love with my current husband. I was very upfront with Joseph that I was never throwing away my little black book and would continue seeing others. Fortunately, he always fantasized about being married to a “hotwife” and having a monogamous partner wasn’t a priority for him. We then came to the happy conclusion that we were made for each other . Finally I found someone who I can be myself with.